Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Bubba
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and
I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
The Matrix Reloaded Indonesian Style..
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
One Small Step for Mr. Armstrong...One Giant Leap for Mr. Gorsky
This story is becoming somewhat of an Urban Legend. I recently received an e-mail from someone who says it is not a true story...Then again if you watched Tom Hank's "From the Earth to the Moon" on HBO you can clearly hear the actor that portrays Mr. Armstrong say the "Gorsky" line. Whether it's true or not...It's a great story.
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re- entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
Just last year, (on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when that Armstrong kid walks on the moon!"
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
"The Sleeping Beauty" - The Original Pre-Classicism Fairytale
In 1697, a French author named Charles Perrault published a classic book titled Tales of Times Passed. In our time the book is better known under its later name "Mother Goose Tales". It contains eight tales of which seven has become classics for children and it's likely that you know most of these "The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood" - "Little Red Riding Hood" - "Blue Beard" - "The Master Cat or Puss in Boots" - "Diamonds and Toads" and Cinderella.
Charles Perrault was not the original author of any of these stories. They were rewritten editions of stories going back through history and had been passed from mouth to mouth, and these stories were actually very cruel in their original form. Charles Perrault just cleaned them up and let everybody live happily ever after in them. The earliest known written version of Sleeping Beauty was actually published 61 years earlier by an Italian named Giambattista Basile.
Here is how the story was originally told:
A great king was forewarned by some wise (old?) men that his newborn daughter named Talia was in great danger. It seems that a poison splinter was in the palace's flax, and it would destroy her. The king immediately ordered a ban on flax inside the palace walls.
But, as all great fairy tales go, Talia somehow encountered a flax-spinning wheel and got that nasty splinter in her finger. What happened? Talia dropped dead. As a result, King Dad placed his daughter's body on a velvet cloth, locked the palace gates, and left the forrest forever and ever.
Enter the great nobleman, who turned out not to be so noble. While hunting in the woods one day, he just happened to stumble on the abandoned palace and Talia's dead body. One would think he kissed her at this point, but no such thing happened. Instead, he raped her.
He planted the noble seed and nine months later Talia gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Their names were Sun and Moon (which is the boy and which is the girl?) and the fairies took care of them. One day, the boy was sucking on mom's finger and sucked out the poisonous flax splinter. Talia awoke from her death bed.
Many months go by and the horny young nobleman returns to the woods to have another encounter with the princess. To his surprise, he found her alive and well. He confesses that he is the father of her children and they enjoy a hot weekend fling in the hay
The nobleman then returns home to his wife. Somehow she learns about his illegitimate children. The wife orders the capture of the children. Her cook is then told to slash their young throats and to cook a hash with their flesh. At dinner that night, the wife gleefully watches her husband eat his meal. When he has finished, she announces "You are eating what is your own!".
We can be sure that the nobleman did not feel too well at that moment. But then, he did rape a dead woman, so he deserves a little suffering. But all fairy tales must have a happy ending, so check out this one:
It turns out that the cook had a soft heart and never slaughtered the children. Instead, goat meat was substituted. The enraged wife ordered the capture of Talia and that she be burned at the stake. But she was saved from death by her rapist and they lived happily ever after.
Sun tattoos anyone?
The next time you tan, why not grab a Sun Tattoo and put those UV rays into good use.The soft stenciled patterns allows sun to hit only certain areas on your body. Bake long enough and you’ve got yourself a very unique tan.
Of course I can’t endorse tanning since for the most part is dangerous but if you’re one whom can’t stay away from the sun and have a wild flair for the unusual, you might like this.
Normal day at the office..
your balls are already up to your eyes with work and datelines, your boss is LITERALLY breathing down your neck demanding for work way past its due date. And to add to the damage, the air-con broke down yesterday and todays temperature is way up to a high forty..
suddenly..
you hear a voice from the next cubicle happily talking into the phone, laughing, singing out loud..well, basically, grating your already frayed nerves to shreds..
total pwnage..kinda reminds me of this..heheh..
Monday, December 17, 2007
Suggestions for secret sleeping at work
Choose a cabinet in the office that opens rarely. Move the content of it in one side - on the left or on the right.This is very useful for longer breaks.
Put one big ladger underneath your chin.
Advantage: you can keep your regular working position and stay unobtrusive.
Disadvantage: all your collegues that you share the office with, must be in front of you with turned their back on you.
Sit on the toilet with your head on the toilet tank and relax. Use a role of toilet paper like a holder for your head. Important: you have to hold a set of keys in your hand, wich will drop on the floor and wake you up when you fall a deep sleep.
Don't Mess With The Zohan..
in another attempt to turn social satire on its head, Adam Sandler came up with this extreme stereotypical posse of characters against a comedic (almost believable) situations that places this movie amongst flicks usually under-appreciated by fanatics and bureaucratics..heheh..don't let the eloquence keep you away from this gem..a must see for 2008..
Any good comebacks Bono?
Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet ...
'Well, fuckin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!'
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Norton Antivirus
Here's a view on how they marketed Norton Antivirus..
Are you a believer in Japanese "can do it all attitude" yet?
chain mail..the modern version
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they
have helped make you the person that you are today.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Weird japanese telco TVC
Well..whatever..
Once home, they feed it some booze, and it dances like a wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman. And that's it. We would wager anyone who doesn't know what '3' is would really struggle to work out what that advert is for. Believe it or not, 3 is a mobile phone network, so that explains the, erm, well nothing. It doesn't really explain anything.
Stop Motion Stagecraft
it never cease to amaze me when people come out with video ideas such as this..thanx to Tony for passing the link..
Friday, December 7, 2007
TO movie-makers wannabes...
Coke
Find more videos like this on AdGabber
Any campaign that improves the reputation of octopuses to children is a great campaign in our opinion, because we think they're a grossly underrated sea creature. (And to think -- every re-airing of The Little Mermaid will undo all this fine work.) On the other hand, these might just freak people out and get them all sketchy about touching textured Coke bottles.
Find more videos like this on AdGabber
Either way, this was another fun bunch produced by Blacklist, NY (see the equally amiable Zune spot), and directed by Nanospore, for agency Publicis Mojo, Auckland.
In Romania, They Still Send Snail Mail
Find more videos like this on AdGabber
Who needs to pick up a pen when we've got email, IM and text? I mean writing an actual letter sounds like actual work! No one likes to work that hard any more. After all, we're living in an Idiocracy where everything's been so dumbed down beauty pageant contestants can't even string together a few sentences into a coherent statement. Parents pose online as teens to snoop into the lives of their children with not so great results. Good grades are rewarded with...a Happy Meal? WTF?
Oh wait, what were we talking about? Oh yea, a Romania Post Office commercial. It's good. Give it a watch. You might feel like writing a letter and actually make use of those words you last saw on your SPM test.
Girl Bounces For Chocolate..
There's plenty of private and public places where a man can view this sort of activity but a television commercial isn't usually one of them. Unless you live in Japan where men have no problem dressing a girl in nothing but her red underwear and instructing her to jump up and down in front of the camera while shouting something about the product. The fact what she's yelling will, for English speaking folks, sound like she's yelling "jerk off" is just further icing on the odd ridiculousness of the thing.
So watch. Listen to what she tells you. And then decide for yourselves what you'll do next.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Time with Vodafone
We're pleased to say the ad itself surprised us. Not in that ostentatious way where you're like, "Hey, I thought there was sex involved but it was just somebody getting tattoed" or "Hey, I never would have guessed that sex scene was going to devolve into a slapstick comedy about sensitive teeth!"
It's not about sex at all. And despite its length, and despite the fact that Vodafone's a little fuzzy about how it's going to turn our limbo moments into something meaningful, we found it a worthwhile watch for purely aesthetic reasons.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
sony bravia
bouncy balls. view the making here
paint cannons. view the making here
pyramid strands.
bunny playdough. view the making here
New Guinness ad - only previously available to those who solved the puzzles on the Guinness website!
The final sequence used 6,000 dominoes, 10,000 books, 400 tires, 75 mirrors, 50 fridges, 45 wardrobes and 6 cars. The chain wound from inside a darkened room, out a window, down and across any number of streets, and at one point involved bales of flaming hay. The grand finale was that of a giant glass of Guinness, whose foam was made up of open books.
They did it for the advertising. For the purpose, Guinness hired the same director who once filmed 250,000 superballs bouncing down a San Francisco hillside for Sony. That ad on the bay only took a few takes, because superballs don’t need acting coaches. Here in Argentina, a full twenty-four hours of film was shot for a final cut that lasts a minute and a half.
It cost $10 million. That’s a lot of money anywhere, but especially in a country where the average monthly income clocks in at around $200. No one has said how much the villagers were paid.
ladytron - seventeen
jingle for a 'stop violence against women' ad i'm currently working on..loopapalooza..
yo yo man
2006 champion
2007 champion
Most Hilarious Guitar Design Ever
This is Stig Pedersen from Denmark’s band D-A-D. Thanks to blogger G L Wilson for finding this image. Check out his blog for more funky ars guitar photos like the concrete guitar.
(Another) Blonde Joke
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'
She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..'
She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'
She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'
cool mug shot
Kid Playing Video Games Lost His Wii-rginity by a Dog
Monday, December 3, 2007
Alfa Romeo Sloth?
Don't ask me..it was already named that way when i found it..
Friday, November 30, 2007
Come and Work-In-Your-Lingerie Day
The Audrey Underwear company in Taiwan asked it’s 500 women employs in the firms head quarters to come to work in camisoles and knickers to celebrate record sales. In fact, they have decided to repeat the event once a month. Needless to say, the male workers were excited about the record sales too.
"We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don't know where to put our eyes," salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News. More than 90% of female workers reportedly went along with the spirit of the day and worked in their underwear. Huang Bihui, PR manager of the company, explained: "We introduced eight new camisoles into market and sold more than 20,000 in less than two months so we named the 21st as Camisole Day."
Thursday, November 29, 2007
WHAT THE FUCK???
Aphex Twin - Windowlicker
Easily the most disturbing music video of the modern time..trippy...
YouTube star?
Terra Naomi, IMHO undoubtedly is one of those rare gems that is hard to come by. I heard about her a while back, but just remembered her today when I heard another artiste that (tried to?) sound like her.
This classically trained performer-songwriter and all round artiste through and through, got into the 'INDUSTRY' through her first YouTube video entitled 'Say It's Possible'. After playing in clubs and cafes, 'Say It's Possible' really created a spur of interest that carried her brand of songwriting and alternative pop rock to the celebrated consciousness of tapping-feet and nodding-heads everywhere.
And when I wiki-ed her, found out that she had signed a record deal. Wow. Really feel good about this one. Better than those one hit wonders eye-dols and 1 in a mill wannabes.
Well, keep an eye out for this lass.
Terra Naomi - Say It's Possible
I see the lights are turning and I look outside
The stars are burning through this changing time
It could have been anything we want
It's fine, salvation was just a passing thought
It was just a passing thought
Don't wait, act now
This amazing offer won't last long
It's only a chance to pave the path we're on
I know there are more exciting things to talk about
And in time we'll sort it out
And in time we'll sort it out
And though they say it's possible
To me, I don't see how it's probable
I see the course we're on spinning farther from what I know
I'll hold on
Tell me that you won't let go
Tell me that you won't let go
And truth is such a funny thing
With all these people
Keep on telling me
They know what's best
And what to be frightened of
And all the rest are wrong
They know nothing about us
They know nothing about us
And though they say it's possible
To me, I don't see how it's probable
I see the course we're on spinning farther from what I know
I'll hold on
Tell me that you won't let go
Tell me that you won't let go
I'm not alright
And though they say it's possible
To me, I don't see how it's probable
I see the course we're on spinning farther from what I know
I'll hold on
Tell me that you won't let go
And though they say it's possible
To me, I don't see how it's probable
I see the course we're on spinning farther from what I know
I'll hold on
Tell me that you won't let go
Tell me that you won't let go
This could be something beautiful
Combine our love into something wonderful
But times are tough I know
And the pull of what we can't give up takes hold
Futurama Is Back! Grab a Can of Slurm and Settle In
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
~cringing blush
Current fav on my playlist..
Will you walk right up?
With a smile on your face?
Or will you cower in fear
In your favorite sweater
With an old love letter?
I wish you would
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They’re all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
When you’re walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?
You know you could
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends behind my back
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
I wish you’d make up my bed
So I could make up my mind
Try it for sleeping instead
Maybe you’ll rest sometime
I wish I could
my favourite song of the moment, with lyrics so wonderfully twisted and sounds belying its misbegotten subject matter.
Teeth trailer
And really grotesque punning involving roses.
Imagination is a seriously fucked-up place.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Everyday Normal Guy Rap Song
A rap song by motherfuckin' Jon Lajoie
Monday, November 26, 2007
Which one is better?
One night to be confused
One night to speed up truth
We had a promise made
Four hands and then away
Both under influence
We had divine scent
To know what to say
Mind is a razorblade
To call for hands of above, to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no
One night of magic rush
The start: a simpel touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief
Ten days of perfect tunes
The colours red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love
To call for hands of above, to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no
To call for hands of above, to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
And you
You knew the hand of a devil
And you
Kept us awake with wolves teeth
Sharing different heartbeats in one night
To call for hands of above, to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no
To call for hands of above, to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
the simple and sedate cover by Jose Gonzalez
or the trippy psychedelia original by The Knife?
work of wonders.
Close to perfection (Nothing else out there)
No one to guide us (Lost in my senses)
Deep down inside I know our love will die
Only this moment (Holds us together)
Lost in confusion (Feelings are out there)
Scared of devotion (Doubting intentions)
Deep down inside I know our love will die
Stay or forever go
Play or you'll never know
What heaven decided
You can't deny it's all you've been waiting for
Stay or forever go
Play or you'll never know
Your spirit's divided
You will decide if I'm all you've been waiting for
Guilt in my head
Hath been parted by grace
by the voice of an angel
Revealing her face
And her words they make sense and I do understand,
Falling in love isn't part of a plan
Forces within me, mix reason with lust
But I try to accept it and not make it worse
Cause I know I might lose you by taking the chance
But love without pain isn't really romance
royksopp - only this moment
Hack Attack: How you can download Windows Vista SP3
Well here is how you can download SP3 straight from Microsoft. Follow the instructions carefully and you’ll be running Windows XP SP3 in no time. Grab yourself a cup of Coffee as you do this..
Don’t fret too much, this won’t take much time. I can assure you that..
- Download this file (WindowsXPSP3Hack.cmd). Once you have downloaded the file, login as administrator and run the file by double clicking it. Wait for the Confirmation Message on screen.
- The Above file adds a few entries to the Windows Registry that makes Microsoft think that you are a part of the Private beta program.
- Check for new updates on Windows Update. You should now see Windows XP SP3 listed in the available updates.
- Download and install it. Reboot whenever necessary.
I tried this on Windows XP Machine and this hack worked like a charm. Let me know if this works for you.. If you can’t wait for Microsoft to release SP3 officially then this hack is for you.
Spread the word around, so that many more people can download the 3rd Service Pack.
Look at my PS2 controller bling y'all...
Unfortunately, we do not know what the price paid was, but we are sure the rapper, Just Blaze, saved up for weeks to be able to afford the Playstation inspired bling. Now, if a neck pendant fashioned like a diamond clad PS2 controller does not earn him some serious rapper credibility, there is something wrong with the world. There you have it; crime doesn't pay, rapping does.
Maybe later on we'll see badd on the stage laying out rhymes in the future hehehehe
Jokes: 5 Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk
4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."
by Liz Kroll
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Third Grader
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36″.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.”
The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”
The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment, “Legs.”
Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Harry replied, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants”
Teacher: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?
Harry: Firetruck